Dear S

I am wondering. But I shouldn't wonder. Not because I run wild or it is without reason. But because it leads me to wander into pasture-less land. So, I choose blank. I choose to be here - in mind and body and soul. I choose not to run - not wild, nor mild. So I stop myself and be here, right here! As my feet lifts and tries to move and go, I bring it back. In every motion swaying in, moving around but here. I let my body feel the pulse of my feet, I let my hand lend its arm. As they all move together, I Dance!

illegitimate

I am an illegitimate child
born to parents, very very legitimate
But, I am an illegitimate child
I cry when hurt,
smile when loved,
But I am, usually, chided
- The illegitimate child

My needs are absurd
My wants unjustified
- walk in the park,
a kite to fly.
They were making choices,
between this and that
I lost the game
- the illegitimate child

I can't inherit the house, the garden
Or even mamma's lap
For legitimacy is not an inherited tag
For every drop of water
I quietly wait aside
Trying to reason a legitimate ground
Shackled, the illegitimate child

I am usually overlooked
By the candyman and the balloon guy
So, it scared me,
When they and all looked straight into my eye
They spoke of wrongs I didn't understand
and spanked me for fights though I wasn't there.

I smell illegitimacy
And they run,
And I run,
from this illegitimate child.